Tucker Max: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell & Other Books

Tucker Max is an author who gained notoriety for writing about his drunken debaucheries, sexual exploits, and epic fail moments. I do find his books to be very hilarious and very entertaining. My favorite is his first book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.

I was one of Tucker’s earliest supporters when I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell came out and the massive female population wanted to have him lynched for his disrespect of women (I thought he was pretty funny).  I took the stance all women should read his books to know exactly what kind of guy to stay away from, but his language and content in these books is crass and will most likely be deemed highly offensive. It is not for prudes.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Tucker’s books for your enjoyment:

“Random Girl after a hookup: “Do you love me”
Tucker: “I don’t understand the question.”
Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.” Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

“I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.” Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.”  Tucker Max, Hilarity Ensues

“Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.”  Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

“I feel like taking her money AND her soul is not cool. One or the other.” Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

“… the devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you’ve ever wished for …” Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

“FUCK. This is not good. I’m allergic to whiskey. I think maybe I should explain this to her, and request a different alcohol. Then I remember that I am awesome. Even fighting through anaphylactic shock, I can STILL bury this emotionally unstable, bulimic undergrad.” Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

“Tucker “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up.” Tucker Max, Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

“8:58 We go to McDonald’s. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This infuriates me, “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? MC-SEABASS?? IT’S THE GODDAMN MCDONALDS’S MENU, IT’S BEEN THE SAME FOR TEN YEARS! IT’S ALL MCSHIT!JUST ORDER!” Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

Tucker: “I know this really sexy move you can do with your mouth. It’s called ‘shutting the fuck up.’” Tucker Max, Hilarity Ensues

For those of you who do not like to read, but wish to know more of Tucker’s adventures, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell was made into an independent comedy film loosely based on the work that is available for rent.


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