The Objectified Appliance: Forgotten Not Rotten

I am in mourning.

Grief. Sadness. Misery. Heartbreak.

Yesterday, the unthinkable happened.

I was too upset to even write about it except a short blurb on Facebook which hardly counts.

The day started off like all the others.

I showered. Grabbed a coffee, and headed to the office.

Everything looked normal – beautiful even. The signs of productivity and opportunity glowed like a beacon of hope and light.

I had an ample to-do list and was ready to knock it out.

I comfortably sat down in my chair, taking a long sip of my grande white chocolate iced mocha with non-fat milk and no whip cream and pushed the power button to my computer.

No response. 

Immediately, the feeling of dread washed over me making my fresh Starbucks beverage immediately tasteless.

I hit the power button again.

No response.

It can’t be, I think to myself as I hit the power button for a third time.

No response.

Again.

No response.

It always fascinates me how many times I will push the button when I already know the final outcome, but there is always that hope that the next time the white light of power will flicker on my computer screen.

But not today.

No matter how many times I optimistically pushed the power button, I was faced with the black screen of nothing.

I tilted my head to the side and said aloud “Now, why would you decide to quit today? Why not yesterday or tomorrow? Why now?” 

My associate looked over at me visually concerned, “Are you talking to your computer?”

I ignored the question and continued talking (I was having a moment): “I know you have been working later hours than normal, but you have only one required task: that is to do. You do not take sick days, you do not break, you perform – this insubordination is not acceptable –,” and then I stopped and repeated in my mind what I had just said.

I immediately put my hand over my mouth and burst out laughing.

It had finally clicked.

“My appliance has stopped working!I said pointing  proudly to my computer to my business associate who at this point is staring at me like I am a patient (or faux doctor) from Stonehearst Asylum.

“I finally get it!” I said excitedly, “And now that my appliance is not working it has become an object of nothing!”

The look on my business’s associate’s face was purely priceless: “Sarah, are you okay?”

“Yes, I am fabulous actually – I finally got it!”

“Did you happen to —” another business associate asked.

I cut in sordidly: “No.”

“But you wrote a script that backs up all your information?” I love when people work around you long enough that you know what they are saying before you say it.

“I turned it off because it was making my other scripts run slower,” I muttered as  I started to look as to why my computer was not turning on.

After an hour of intense investigation, it appeared that, I had opened a window for fresh autumn air of which a tree branch had snapped that had knocked a book off the shelf closest to the window that, in turn, fell over and hit my bicycle clock that fell over and knocked my unfinished Pumpkin Spice Latte all over my laptop. The lovely janitor had to be called in as he had decided to clean the evidence which made the detective work slightly harder, but in the end, at least the closure as to why my trusted ally had decided to turn off was put to rest.

It was a pure domino effect. Even I had to admire the beauty in that. Cause and effect.

With that, I picked my laptop off and trotted to Apple. Time for a new appliance!

It always fascinated me why Apple chose the logo it did – but now, it held an even more symbolic meaning.

But regardless, I don’t regret opening the window for a breath of fresh air, but if I knew that this was going to happen, well, I still would still have opened the window, but I would have removed the Pumpkin Spice Latte, repositioned the bicycle clock and not had the book sitting in just the right spot. But then again, I don’t fault myself for not contemplating the inconceivable. But now that I did know, there was more of a burden that did make me responsible, although it felt like the pieces I shouldn’t see were more clear than the ones I needed to see.

However despite the awful day, I realized that my computer was my Objectified Appliance because it was mine, it was different, and I happened to like it just the way it was when it was working and doing everything I needed it to do when I needed it done by.

And although, while a costly error, a clean and fresh slate is what I probably needed the most. Because now I am on a dreaded older Mac, which is still a better option than my Windows computer (of which I complained bitterly about when my husband forced me to make the switch because Mac was better than Windows – I remember quoting that I would never love him ever again as I could not even figure out how to eject a CD-ROM…but, two weeks later when I learned how to operate a Mac – I never went back…it also reminded me of the time I told my parents I would never forgive them when they made me get braces…hmmm).

So the moral of the story is forgotten not rotten. My old computer will never be like my anticipated new one even though they will be the same. A very wise person had recently quoted that “Rome was not built in a day” but I had also learned that it was pretty much impossible for me to follow “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” Yet, I really still can’t figure out how Rome was built at all, but am just trying to learn the schedules which seems to be very complex.

On an interesting note, literally, the last words my grandmother said to me before she died were: “All roads lead back to Rome.” Granted, she had lost her mind due to Alzheimer’s, but such a weird thing to say.

But, the best thing about me is that I am not like you so don’t let paranoia consume you.

Why?

Because I choose to be. 

But even with a non-functioning objectified appliance that some would define as “treacherous”,  I can still see the deeper meanings and the value of learning because that is the power of the positive and may it bring all hope as we celebrate one of the most hypocritical holidays on the planet: Thanksgiving.

___________________________________________________________________________________________This blog and all associated images bear no correlations to anything other than my personal taste and love of the First Amendment.

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