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I greatly enjoy reading the blog entitled Knowing the Narcissist by HG Tudor, a diagnosed Narcissist Sociopath (although I really do not like labels as people do change so take note of the date of this blog post as indication of how much time as elapsed) who writes as part of his therapy concerning his disorder.
What I appreciate about HG is that he writes specifically from his viewpoint, which is always an extremely logical perspective to give persons insights on his subjective thought process. Anyone who has suffered Narcissist abuse can quite frankly attest that it can often indescribable.
More specifically, to a Narcissist, a relationship is determinable on “fuel” or “narcissist supply” that such person effectively renders. A Narcissist operates under a “subjective mindset” which places him or her on a level by which all communications and interactions are solely related from the Narcissist’s point of view. Largely, this can be a horrifying reality for others, but if a Narcissist is watching a pornography, the Narcissist will view such content as being performed solely for him or her. This mentality greatly differs from an objective point of view.
As an example of narcissistic injury, if a Narcissist walks into a room where persons are laughing, the Narcissist will assume that such persons are laughing at them. This predominately explains the defense mechanism of a Narcissist of “splitting” persons into drastic shades of black or white perception.
In applying Extreme Empathy tactics, I have been able to adopt a subjective mindset where I can distinguish the relative differences between an objective mindset.
I prepared a flow chart of relationships with others based on HG Tudor’s blog posts entitled What Am I to Him, Dirty Little Secret, and Keep It in the Family. This flow chart does not purport to be an accurate representation, but a starting roadmap to the complex dynamics applicable to a Narcissist’s relationships with others.
A Tertiary Source is a person that the Narcissist barely knows such as an online blog follower or someone who is crossing the street that the Narcissist observes on his or her day to work on certain days. Tertiary sources may experience a short blast of seduction (which is used to ensnare the victim), but are not afforded the “golden period” where the Narcissist may not be physically present with you.
Tertiary Source to Friend, Colleague, and/or Family
A Tertiary Source to a friend, colleague, or family is considered a member of a trusted source of the Narcissist. This could be a family member, a friend of a friend, or a work colleague that the Narcissist has developed over a certain period of time.
Non-Intimate Secondary Familial Source
A non-intimate secondary familial source secondary source is a “family member” or “close acquaintance” who the Narcissist interacts with and engages strictly in a platonic manner.
A primary source is a person by which the Narcissist invests full-attention in the seduction process for an intimate relationship.