I have noticed as of late that there is a lot of confusion regarding the word “love” and what that means that single handedly can cause a lot of confusion in relationships so wanted to spend some time discussing it.
Before we dive into “love”, I wanted to clarify on the difference between love and infatuation, which most do understand.
Now, love can be confusing to understand for English natives based on the fact that there is one word to describe whereas the Ancient Greeks had four main words to describe love! Therefore, when one says I love you to his or her husband, it is different than the I love you to a close friend, so on and so forth.
1. Eros, or sexual passion
This love represents sexual passion and desire and is the most like infatuation. It is primordial and encompasses mainly desires of the self in an erotic way.
2. Philia, or deep friendship
This is brotherly love that represents true friendship. When Jesus asked Peter in the Bible if he loved (agaped) Him, Peter responded with philos.
3. Agape, or selfless love
Agape is selfless love, and the love that God has for us. The Bible verse John 15:13 states “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Here agapn is used.
4. Storge, or Inherited Love
This is the type of love that one would have for their parents or a child such as a biological bond.
Other Words Associated with Love
Roman Krznaric in The Ancient Greeks’ 6 Words for Love (And Why Knowing Them Can Change Your Life) mentions the Latin word Ludas that translates to “a play, game, diversion” – this is the sport of love that can be perceived as child-like, flirting, or dancing that spices up relationships or is used if dating multiple people at one time that creates an escape from everyday life. Krznaric also references Mania and Pragma as words associated to love. Pragma is patient and applies tolerance, whereas Mania is what I associate with someone who is crazy and resembles a stalker.
Understanding Extreme Empathy and Love
“Extreme Empathy is only successful if you can master an effective means of communication.” This is single handedly the most true statement. If you are the one seeking to learn, you will have to show the highest form of love given by God known as agape if faced with opposing energy that goes rogue – in my most recent experience, God strike me dead, I have applied the closest to Agape has humanly possible. However, it really is more based on the other person. By in so learning, you can relate with someone in the ways he or she is most comfortable to connect for effective communication. For obvious reasons, this excludes eros unless one was intimately involved in a husband and wife marital union.
A good example is the “Finger hug”. My stepson does not like to be touched, so we developed an ET way of hugging (in time, he has hugged me but this is how it started). Naturally, I would have preferred a hug, but Extreme Empathy can feel the other person’s discomfort as well, which causes a conflicted/confusing response without requisite knowledge to explain and correlate that feeling. Once knowledge is applied appropriately (person has a disorder/traumatic event), an ET hug is just as special as as a regular hug and will feel the same to the Extreme Empath based on a neutralization of energy i.e. acceptance (pragma turned philos). It may be hard, if not impossible, for an Extreme Empath to be able to be utilized if the relationship turns sexual – in all cases of helping someone, my initial rule you is you must be free of passionate desires – this does not include feelings of frustration over other matters, but typically staying away from the sexual is essential. Naturally, husband and wife is a different story, but that is your partner, who can help you as well and is ad different type of relationship. Kudos is speculative in nature and depends on the people. If someone has a significant other, the question for a kudos connection becomes relevant on the partners comfortability with their respective spouses. Some partners may be more speculative than others, but view that as a subjective analysis between the couples other spouse.
My summary regarding Greek love was summarized in part from The Ancient Greeks’ 6 Words for Love (And Why Knowing Them Can Change Your Life) by Roman Krznaric, who is part of a nonprofit organization that you can Subscribe or donate here!