*Words in red were re-edited/added for a third time based on the relatively interesting situation that came up today that is worth a re-read if you have the time
When you are in a Narcissistic relationship, the majority of the literature states to go No Contact when you realize who you are dealing with. It is, hands down, the best advice you will ever receive, but the literature is paradoxically silent on how to go No Contact when you meet your Narcissist online under a fake profile and have absolutely no clue who he or she really is.
The Narcissist could be your neighbor.
The Narcissist could be a Pygmy in Australia.
The Narcissist could be your ex-boyfriend.
The Narcissist could be anyone.
That means one out of only seven billion people.
For those of you who have suffered such a fate to become a target to a Narcissist met online that has done unthinkable acts such as hack your computer, spam you, intimidate you, and try to sabatoge your every move, it quickly may dawn on you that you’re are playing a game of Where’s Waldo with your Narcissist…and unfortunately, you are not Waldo. Waldo has every last bit of information on you, and remarkably you will discover you have little to nothing on him and/or her.
Don’t fret – Narcissist’s do this all the time online – it is called “catfishing”. In fact, they are so skilled in this routine that he or she (or they) can actually make you feel stupid for even landing in this position, but do not feel this way – you don’t have the luxury for a pity party – it’s time to put your game face on and take off your pull-off’s as you have some work to do: get ready for a lot of laughter…and I am dead serious.
How To Go No Contact With an Online Narcissist Ghost
When this type of online interaction occurs, the Narcissist delights in the fact that “No Contact” with him or her means “No Contact” with the rest of the world as you do not know who he or she is.
This is purposely done in order to isolate you into a bubble, much to the Narcissist’s delight, but do not let the Narcissist Ghost in your life do this to you. The fact that he or she hides means that he or she has more to hide than you and all Narcissists fear exposure, but I would recommend never stooping to the level of blackmailing or intimidating the Narcissist in your life as that would be stooping to his or her level. Naturally, if you have to defend yourself against physical violence or slander, that is a different story and nothing should be interpreted here not to take action in such circumstances.
I had originally edited this post to exclude a special project I had made for others regarding all the hard works and efforts I had observed in my journey. I did so in the form of a Candyland board with little symbols that showed the creativity and good I had discovered in the last six months from little symbols like airplanes, roses, . I worked really hard on it.
Because I won’t deny it: I fell in love.
I fell in-love with the vast amount of time and efforts that I observed in what I define as creativity personified. And I still feel admiration. Frustration, yes, but still there was so much “good” intermingled with “bad” that I was just in awe.
Not really. A relationship with a Narcissist in any capacity is one born out of mixed emotional responses. I personally choose to focus on the positives. In truth, I was genuinly impressed and then it hit me: what makes a Greater Narcissist is the awesome people he or she has under them or the people who perhaps cared enough to become ensnared as God knows to be involved in that equation one must have the patience of Job.
I also recognized that frustration comes into play when one works on something that they do not even know if someone viewed – which is why I spent so much time making my own board game that took place in my head as everything stemmed from the branches of the same tree in my mind.
I made the project for others, and I originally had shared it here.
I later removed it and edited my post based on the fact that I did not want it to cause paranoia to anyone even though objectively, no one would could correlate the meanings of a random objects like a plane or roses on a Candyland Board.
But then, in the past, I have not always made the best decision when it pertains to dealing with this situation so I removed the picture. In contemplation, I stand by my decision to remove it because I believe in better safe than sorry and if even one person noticed my perception of Sin City, then the harm to another outweighed the efforts because I am aware of it.
But that does not mean, I don’t see all the work that was put into it by others and please know you are the reason that I was attracted here – your energy – your creativity – you.
I appreciate your work and will always.
But not to lose focus, in my particular case the issue is not as relatively simple as I had first thought:
First, I cannot initiate No Contact because I have no idea who to initiate No Contact with with. I am not ruling seven billion people on the planet out because of one or two bad apples, and neither should anybody unless you want to do exactly what the Narcissist wants you to do: be alone and vulnerable.
In short, I don’t have the luxury of going No Contact because I do not know who my Narcissist is because we unfortunately met online in a neutral setting and he or she decided that I would be a lovely person to follow, hack, etc. There is a part of me that thinks going No Contact with the rest of civilization will be the safer of the two worlds, but that sucks and sounds extreme, but currently I am trying to mitigate – going on a Safari to the outreaches of the Jungle in solitude really doesn’t seem like a bad idea to me at the moment.
So this is the third time I have edited this blog post.
On my original post, I stated that one should not let one or two bad apples ruin an entire social setting, but then again, if it made one person uncomfortable, the loving thing to do was probably remove the picture because my intent was not to offend anybody.
However, on my second edit of the blog post, I decided to go No Contact with the world.
I wish I had the right answer as to what should be done here. Without going through it per say before, I cannot say what worked and did not work for me…yet. I want to think I have managed through the course of my actions over a prolonged period to pretty much get in a worse situation than most other people but couldn’t even say that for a fact.
All I can say is I am trying my best with dynamics that quite frankly defy logical thought.
However, I still removed my boardgame not because there was anything remotely identifiable, but because that is who I choose to be because of the one or two people who may have an issue with it. That issue at least is clear to me, as for cutting myself off from civilization, I was thinking of creative solutions such as going for a long hike in the Sahara Desert for a while.
However, in truth, the issue is not so black and white and lies in take it one day at a time…in fact, I like that better.