As of late, I have been studying the subject of Narcissist Personality Disorder and attempted to learn how to relate with the subjective viewpoint of which a Narcissist views the world around him as opposed to “objective reality” of how other normal or empathic persons view the world.
The goal began so I could relate to my stepson’s perspective as we would literally argue over the same event and I could tell he was not lying to me in the sense that is how he perceived the event, but it was very different from how I perceived the event. I asked myself: is there anyway that we could just view things in our minds so differently?
And the answer to that question is not only yes, but absolutely.
The Narcissist Subjective Reality
“It’s all about me or “I will make it all about you so it is about me” is the token phrase used by Narcissists. Now, if you are like me before applying this extreme empathy technique to understand a subjective mindset, I thought of it as a bratty child who wants his or her way, but this is the furtherest thing of what it really is, which is why I wanted to spend the time to talk about it so people can perhaps really understand the horrors of this disorder (I view it as horror and prefer objective reality, but a Narcissist very well may not).
However, the subjective reality is a whole different mentality and way of thinking in general – in my opinion, it is actually related to how the eyes correlate reality through the optic nerve to the brain. If you associate with the Narcissists long enough, this way of thinking can slowly migrate an objective point of view through almost “brainwashing”. In short, the subjective mentality can easily corrode objective mentality.
More specifically, look at these two pictures:
The Narcissist sees so deeply into reality that he or she cannot objectively look back and see the entire picture. This largely leaves the Narcissist feeling “attacked” because he or she so closely looks into the situation. Depending on the range of the Narcissist, the attack could happen that second or be planned out over the course of years.
Think of an objective and subjective like a sliding scale of sorts as shown below.
All people have different thresholds on the scale between how they view the world between an objective and subjective reality that ranges per person. I consider 5 to be normal.
At the extremities, the Narcissist is very subjective. An Empathic person is very objective.
So let’s put this concept towards a hypothetical example that could occur in real life:
A Narcissist walks into a room and there are a group of people he has never met before laughing. The Narcissist will immediately assume that such people are laughing at him or her. Depending on the severity level of the Narcissist, he or she will either lash out directly at those people with the Greater Narcissist taking his or her time for revenge in a twisted plot. Since these people were laughing over nothing related to the Narcissist, they often will be oblivious to the attacks unless the Narcissist directly states what he or she has done, which the Narcissist cannot do because it would crack the facade on the face that he or she wishes to portray to the world.
So, let’s say the Empath walks into a room and everyone is laughing but this time the laughing is actually directed towards the Empath; the Empath will assume that the laughing is not about him or her if there is no direct correlation that he or she can identify.
I was able to see from the Narcissist’s subjective vantage point and found the negatives to far out-weigh the positives, but then again, I am an extremely objective person. For me, it was more anxiety producing and for two, it took the beauty out of the bigger picture so I just stopped looking at it from that angle unless it was DIRECTLY related to me that I could correlate with actual tangible evidence – this works well with my stepson.
I suppose my question is if a Narcissist could adopt an objective reality, would he or she reject that mindset for the subjective?
I don’t know, but if I had to guess, I would say that the Narcissist would reject the objective reality and stick with the subjective preferring the facade; however, in the end, it would really come down to the choice of how one chooses to relate to the world. It is not as if one way is wrong or right; it’s the intent (the heart) of which one acts that is directly associated to one’s choices.
Thus, the truth lies between which narrative one chooses to follow or being able to understand from both person’s point of view for one’s own conclusion.
It makes neither perspective right or wrong, but simply recognizes the opposite side of the spectrum. In truth, the Egyptians would have a vastly different opinion of Moses than the Jews. The difference between a Narcissist is that the Narcissist needs his or her facade for superiority whereas the Empath does not.